Personal Logs
by Scourge The Hedgehog
Summary: Takes place in MY version of the Mirror Universe. Five short personal logs from the crew of the I.S.S Enterprise. Three are from the TOS era, and two are from the TNG era. Placed in the TOS category since there are more from that era. Contains one OC.


**(Author's Note: I thought i'd try my hand at making short stories. These "Personal Logs" each take place in seperate timeframes of the Mirror Universe. They consist of three from the TOS era, and two from the TNG era. Since this is MY version of the M.U., some occurances from my "Mirror" Slash saga and my "Mirror Data" mini-series are hinted on, just to let you know. Enjoy.)**

Chief Engineer's Log, Stardate: 3584.3. (Mirror Scotty)

The Phasers are gonna need some recalibratin' after we had to destroy that planet full of diseased children.

Why we didna just do that when we first got over there is beyond me.

But no, Mister Overly Logical had ta go down and take a looksee for himself.

Of course, his loyal husband Mccoy went with 'im.

Not that I give a damn if the lads die, but poker's gonna be much more dull if that happens.

Let's see, what else's grindin' me gears?

The rookies are gettin' snippy again.

Malcolm and Sharhooz got into an argument over something and they got themselves into a fight that almost damaged the Warp Core Matrix.

Sent em both to the Agony Booth for some..."coolin' down" time.

Sharhooz I like...He keeps to himself, don't cause trouble.

I got no clue why the lad would wanna start fistfightin'.

He shoulda just stabbed the man and be done with it.

Not like Malcolm would be a big loss, always flauntin' himself around and all.

He's a big show-off with no ounce o' respect for his elders.

He even had the nerve to call the Enterprise a Garbage Scow!

I swear, of all the most annoyin' rookies I've ever had the displeasure ta see in me Engineerin' room, Malcolm takes the cake for sure.

And what's worse than his insubordnation is his foul mouth.

I swear, I've heard more f-bombs dropped from his mouth than metagenetic spores in the Eugenics Wars!

You know what?

If he insists on taintin' my ship with his foul mouth, then i'm gonna out that mouth of his ta use!

He utters even one curse, he'll find himself on his knees right under me, if you know what I mean.

He'll be a fine example to the rest of 'em!

Not like Captain Spock's gonna care.

He goes through Ensigns like french fries everyday what with that Agonizer of his and all...What's a little hard discipline ta him?

Ler's see, anything else?

Oh! I think Uhura's finally comin' outta her funk.

For a while now, the two of us have been quite distant.

She's been playin' coy with me ever since Kirk was dethroned.

Today, she came over to Engineerin' and ate lunch with me.

She didna say much, just the usual small talk.

But it's a start, I suppose.

Sigh...I think i'm gonna end this log now and go ta sleep...Me dogs are barkin' and I need some down time.

Ta-ta...

* * *

Second Officer's Log: Stardate 4043.5 (Mirror Sulu)

Not much to talk about today.

Typical shift...We just orbited some planet that was mimicking our city of Rome back on Terra...Apparently Spock and his butt-boy Mccoy had some trouble down there, and now the Empire's sending a small fleet of ships to conquer the planet and enslave the locals.

They'll probably be sent to a labor camp, the govenor of that hunk of rock executed for attacking Terran officials...Not too many defy the Empire and live to tell about it, whether they have something to offer or not.

We'll just take what they've got, then get rid of them.

It's kinda like how the real world works...

You have two kinds of people: You've got...

"Hikaru!"

"Hold on Navigator, I'm still recording my logs."

Sorry, that was my whore, Chekov.

I just call him "Navigator," easier for me to remember. (I love him so, but don't you dare tell him I said that!)

Anyway, like I was saying, you have two kinds of people.

There's those being put in their proper place, and those with their feet on the other's face.

It loses a bit in the translation, but I think you get my point.

Oh, I got attacked by this kid named Kyle today.

Tall, Blond fucker.

Typical jock.

You know the type, right?

All brawn, no brains.

But you know what was the funniest thing about it?

"Are you done yet?"

"Sigh...Almost. Just keep your pants on...for a little longer, anyway..."

"But, Hikaru, you promised..."

"Shut up!"

Anyway...This idiot attacked me in the Arboretum. (Greenhouse for simpler minds)

Don't these rookies know not to attack me on my home turf?

You see, I make it a habit to bond with EVERY one of my plants.

Each of them is like a child to me.

I care for them tenderly, like a father...almost as much as I care for Navigator, but that's for another time...

And each of them love me back just as equally.

The moment Kyle lunged at me, he got himself caught in the roots of a Terran Flytrapper.

Heh, heh, heh.

You see, plants evolve, too.

Tend to them for as long as I have, and you start to notice.

The Terran Flytrapper, which is an evolved form of the ancient Venus Flytrap from back on Terra, has these powerful roots, which actually grow on the outside of it's frame.

It uses these roots to catch prey and immobilize it so that it can take out it's razor sharp teeth to cut the prey's body into pieces for digesting...

And for those things, flies don't cut it.

Anyway...with a little "coaxing" from Daddy, I had the Trapper squeeze all of the life straight from the kid's body.

I didn't have to say anything to know that Kyle's last sight was my smiling face as he got his comeuppance.

I dunno whatever happened to the body...I think the Flytrapper ground it up for food or something.

Note to self, bring Air Freshener and Sanitizer when I next go to the Arboretum.

"Master..."

Oh, it's so damn hot when he calls me that!

Sigh...well, I better go.

Ol' Navigator's itching to try this new sex position I told him about...

"And he's been pestering me about it for the past half-hour!"

"I cannot help it, Hikaru..."

"I know, I know...I trained you that way..."

Well, Ciao for now...

* * *

Ensign Lesh's Log Stardate: 4756.8 (Mirror OC)

Whew...Just got the results from my physical.

I'm in perfect health...Little good that's gonna do me!

Oooohh...

I know it!

I just know it!

He's after me!

Resker!

He wants my position!

He's a ruthless son of a bitch, always has been.

He's one of Mccoy's Personal Guard, so it's real hard to get a bead on what he does and where he goes.

I heard from Kwan that he's killing off upper-class officers until he can ensure his position and attack the big boys.

And guess what?

I'm one rank higher than him!

Oooh...I just know he's gonna come for me!

What do I do?

Where do I go?

The senior officers don't give a crap, save for Mccoy, but he can't do anything...

Sulu would probably kill me if I so much as look at him, Chekov's too carefree, Uhura doesn't talk to anybody, and Spock'll just dismiss it as "Terran emotions" or some other kind of logical bullshit!

And what's worse? I can't take an escape pod, unless I wanna end up asa cellular residue on the Enterprise's Phasers...

I'm screwed!

Wait...What was that?

My door!

Oh, no...

NOOOO!

"Here's Daddy!"

If anybody's listening to this Log, his name is Pordal Resker!

"Nobody'll hear that Log. I'll make sure of that!"

Pordal Resker!

"C'mere. you!"

"NO, PLEASE!"

"PORDAL-AAAAAAH...Ughhhhh..."

...

"Computer, cease recording and delete this Personal Log."

LOG DELETED, INFORMATION HAS NOT BEEN SAVED.

* * *

First Officer's Log: Stardate 40367.2 (Mirror Riker)

Sigh...Today was a good day.

Spent some time in the Holodeck with Troi today.

We recreated...what was it?

Oh, yeah!

Those waterfalls that she says she loves to sit at on Betazed during shore leave.

It would've been a great love session if she hadn't been trying to slit my throat the whole time, but I'll take what I can get.

She hates me, but she can't truly deny me, either.

Why?

Well...

Connections are great, you see.

Cause all I have to do is give the word to an operative on Betazed and her mom goes bye-bye.

And if she does manage to kill me?

I have a chip implanted in my right arm that'll send a subspace signal to my operative when that happens.

So either way, she loses.

Mommy's little girl to the end, I guess.

She doesn't mind whoring herself out to any man with power, but she'll go crying to mother for every single problem she has.

Oh, the irony.

Well, one of our recent missions turned out to be quite a doozy.

I found out that I had a twin.

Or, something LIKE a twin, anyway.

Apparently it was some sort of Transporter mishap back when I served on the I.S.S. Potemkin.

We were surveying this planet whose distortion field was so great that we had to use two confinement beams for the transfer.

Apparently, only one beam truly materialzed, while the other bounced off to some other godforsaken part of the planet where this twin of mine was trapped for eight years.

This twin was me...from my DNA all the way to my memories.

The moment we brought him aboard, I didn't like him.

He acted like me for the most part...

But...he was different.

He was a little kinder than me, and he NEVER even used his Agonizer once!

I hated his kind attitude, his upbeat behavior...and his lovey-dovey outlook on women.

He was weak!

It's like...It was me, but it wasn't me...

Some rookie even called him a piece of shit, and all he did was tell the kid off!

I was so fed up with it that I had to stab that very rookie to get my point across.

You know, I'm guessing that it was those eight years alone, they changed him somehow.

Those years made him weak.

Deanna even fell for him for a while, too.

To think he was touching my property...

My woman!

My plaything!

And he goes and...Oh, i'm rambling.

C'mon Will, get it together.

Besides, at least I don't have to worry about him anymore.

Captain Picard sent us down to the planet to retreive this scientific data that was left behind on the planet.

The computers went out and the twin, I called him Thomas; said he knew of another way to turn them back on from a console in one of the caverns.

Thomas knew those caves well, but he almost fell when a piece of rubble from one of the caves that we were using as a makeeshift bridge collapsed over a large hole.

I still remember his desperate eyes looking up at me, his flailing body as his hand held onto the rubble, slowly slipping off.

His voice begging me for help.

I considered saving him at one point...

Maybe I could've used him or something.

But I thought about it...

And I let him fall.

His screaming was music to my ears.

Got myself a fifteen minute Agonizer jolt and a Public Inquiry (of which I totally aced, since I had technically done no wrong) for doing it, but it was so worth it.

I'll be damned if I allow Picard another plaything.

You know, some people say that looking into a mirror is like looking at a part of yourself that you hate.

Now I know what they mean...

* * *

Chief Medical Officer's Log Stardate: 41325.9 (Mirror Beverly)

Ugh! I hate my life!

First I have to put up with this new nurse who seems to think she knows more about my profession than I do, then I find out that Will got himself killed! There goes my plan!

Sigh...I'll start with the nurse.

Her name's Shelly Akiba.

She transferred from Starbase Four after a recommendation by a Starfleet higher-up.

But, we on the Enterprise know whart a recommendation really means.

It's a higher-up's way of telling a Starship Captain: "I need this person dead, but I'm too lazy, or unable to do it myself. Get rid of them for me."

And Picard ended up sending her to me.

The moment she came into work for her first shift, I could tell she was trouble.

I was operating on a patient and she had the audacity to interrupt me, MID-SURGERY, to point out a regulation from the Medical Manual that sh claimed I wasn't adhering to.

And it was the moment that I smacked her in front of the Sick Bay staff that I found out how I'd do her in.

She obeys the rules so much that she'll never expect an accident.

So, I'll fake a work accident.

How?

Well, i'm working with these chemicals that act as an acid to any organic compund that comes in contact with it.

So, I'll just "accidentily" spray her with it.

Then I'll slit her throat while she's hunched over in pain.

Not very classy, I know, and it certainly is messy, but it'll get the job done.

Now...on to Will.

Now, me and him were in cahoots.

You see, Picard's been isolating himself lately, and I figured that if Will was in command one day and I wrote a report that filed Picard as unfit for duty, we could get him demoted, at least for a little while.

Once we do that, then Starfleet won't care if we kill him or not.

Ever since the death of Captain James T. Kirk at the hands of some Vulcan...I forget his name...Spock, I think, Imperial Starfleet made it a rule that only Captains with a medium or low standing with the Empire could be targets for assassination.

So, big boys that play to the rules like Picard aren't on the menu.

But...now that Will's dead, all of that is shot to hell and I'm back at square fucking one.

Oh, Geordi's dead, too...But I always ahted him, so I don't really give a damn.

How Will died, I haven't a clue.

Picard doesn't tell me crap anymore...

And you know what's worse?

The fact that Data is now Picard's new First Officer.

And that makes getting to Picard harder than it has to be...

I know Data had something to do with it!

He had to have!

An unfeeling android that joined us of his own accord is bound to have a catch, a-a-a-motivation or...some sort of prime order that would cause him to want to move up the ranks.

Well, I guess I should count my blessings I suppose, at least they didn't find me out.

Besides, maybe I can find out from Troi.

She's been awfully eager to be friendly lately, maybe me and her can cut out some sort of deal.

Oh, there's Akiba now...Well, got to go!


End file.
